Passion and Purity

2007-02-12T20:19:00.002-05:00

hiya!

I no longer update nor check my blogger.

I've

MOVED !

come read my new blog at

bilyxiao.com

God

2006-07-18T02:36:00.000-04:00

is faithful
=]

wakey wakey

2006-06-28T04:55:00.000-04:00

mmm....
*yawn*
*stretch*
*scratch*

Just a Thought

2006-05-29T00:12:00.000-04:00

Not encountering God in your life? How do you see God if you're not looking in his direction?

They Walked With God

2006-04-26T16:04:00.000-04:00

"They Walked with God" is a book I'm currently reading - a volume of writings of great Christian philosophers of the past. I read "Testimony of the Christian Soul" by Tertullian on the plane ride back, and this morning I started reading from the ninth book of Confessions by St. Augustine. I won't kid myself... I don't understand what I've read anywhere close to the level I want...

Couple quotes that stood out to me today though:

Even as friends by their flattery pervert, so do enemies by their taunts often correct us.

and writing of his mother...

[...] having received the grace of Thy baptism, did she devote care such as she might if she had been mother of us all; served us as if she had been a child of all.

I'm going to have to reread this book many times I just know it x__x

What utterances sent I up unto Thee, my God, when I read the Psalms of David, those faithful songs and sounds of devotion which exclude all swelling of spirit, when new to Thy true love, at rest in the villa with Alypius, a catechumen like myself, my mother cleaving unto us, -- in woman's garb truly, but with a man's faith, with the peacefulness of age, full of motherly love and Christian piety!

That's easy to understand by itself... as a single sentence... but throw that in the middle of another 100 sentences =T

FREEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMM!!!

2006-04-19T18:13:00.000-04:00

Woooooooooohoooooooooooohoooooooohooooooooo!
Exams are done with! After nearly 3 gruelling weeks. =D
Time to pack and head home after 8 months away ^^

Balto

2006-04-04T11:22:00.000-04:00

I love this!

Lifesong

2006-03-04T16:28:00.000-05:00

The rush during midterms to cram and catchup on several missed classes, homework and reading seemed pretty intense. Five midterms lined up day after day over one week. Fortunately our Mechatronics program didn't have any classes running during that exam week. Long night after long night was spent at the books, only coming "up" for the "fresh air" of the actual midterm writing. So that was pretty intense... my eyes must have gotten worse through that time.

The past three weeks since midterms ended though, has been even more intense. This time has proven to be quite a unique experience in my life; one which I am sure I will remember far down the road. Every term the UW Chinese Christian Fellowship (CCF) puts on a production/event for the purpose of sharing our faith and testimony. This term the theme was "Driven" (i.e. what is your drive in life?). The format of the event was decided to be a drama play (which we do write ourselves), live music, and a testimony.

I initially signed up to be an actor, something I haven't really done except for the little bit in grade 9 drama class. By the end of the second planning meeting I somehow got elected as Drama coordinator. So ok... I'd be acting and I'll also just coordinate some practice times. Some simple scheduling and communications, np. After that meeting nothing really happened as most people, myself included, dived into midterms. When it was over the script writing crew got going. There were a bunch of ideas everyone had on how to carry the story. We came up with all kinds of characters and some very neat ideas for settings. What was missing though was the central plot "driver" =p of the story, the conflict which would pull things together and allow development of the story. The play was in progress of writing, nonetheless, and showed good results with respect to individual characters and how we wanted them to be identifiable with the student audience. Still, that something crucial was missing and it was became clearly inhibitive to progress. Since in the immediate time after midterms I didn't have much to do, I started to help out writing the script.

Come Wednesday Feb 15 (I think... I've lost track of time in this past while...) we had Lifesong prayer and planning meeting. It was a very fruitful meeting with a lot of concerns addressed and much attention brought to the scriptwriting. Together as a group of 15 or so we hammered out the main plot driver and the structure of the character relationships. It was awesome stuff but sadly it required a lot of changes in the script.

That Wednesday was actually the "due date" I had loosely put on the script writers, knowing that it would be difficult for them, but also having to consider the actors and our need for practice and lines memorization. Given the tight schedule we were working with I decided to invest more of my time in helping script writing. Helping with ideas, then helping with some lines editing, soon turned to helping with actual script writing. Bryan, Victor and I would day in day out be at it working on the script in victor's room (the house living room). Classes began to be missed (well, more often than not it was by me). By Saturday 18 of that week we still weren't done, and that was the "official" deadline. Well... couldn't do much about that. There was only reading week and one more week left before actual Lifesong. We kept at it with many long nights. Revision after revision. I don't even remember anymore with all the emails I've sent out... I think by Monday 20 we had the "final" one done. Then after some feedback by email we changed up more things. Then another email, then more changes. Then another email, then more changes. Then we had to practice because time was running short, head honcho lifesong coordinator Anne gave us a lot of suggestions for change and so did the actors. So we changed. And revised. And revised. Big portions of the script were still being revised right through until noon on Saturday 25, after staying up until 730AM, sleeping 2hours, and waking again to finish. Whew. Then it was done.

So drama practices began. Minor line changes still were still being made. Corrections made. Updating these revisions onto the script and mass email spamming. It was rough with the few practices we had. A lot of work had to be done on actors positioning, stage layout, actual direction on how to act and the tone of voice etc. It was quite a chaotic time. Then throw in the props for each scene and the stage layout with heavy furniture. Things weren't looking so great. At the time there was also no stage crew; everything was planned with that in mind, so the actors and I had to take care of that as well. All that then had to be planned and added to the script. Then add the cues for actors, lighting, stagecrew, music team, A/V team. Speaking of which, lighting at the venue - RCH 101, wasn't optimal, but at least we had some control on dimming lights and some solid stage lights. It would've been great if we had moving spotlighting control and stage lights that dimmed instead of entire room lights that dimmed. The room itself was a sizeable lecture hall but had no real stage and little space to work with, especially since the band will need 1/3 of the space.

But sorry, I digress...

It's been a hectic three weeks. I've missed over 10 days of classes. I've been sleep deprived. And I've pulled my latest all nighter by going til 730AM. From signing up as actor, to becoming Drama coordinator, director, scriptwriter. It's all been quite a challenge and an experience like no other. As upper years have said, Lifesong is not only an amazing time for outreach, but also an amazing time for fellowship and personal growth. I can now testify to that myself.

God has really revealed Himself to me in this time. With all the stress and frantic organization He has been my guide. Originally there was no one stepping up to share their testimony for the night's event. But by prayer, God answered so amazingly and graciously, having built up, challenged, and called Herman to this in such perfect timing. This wasn't just any testimony either; it was a testimony which matched and meshed with the script perfectly. God is so good!

God really blessed this Lifesong. Many people have talked about how they can identify with the characters and the theme of the play. I truly believe that it wasn't by our efforts that the event was successful. It's success in entertaining was our effort, but it's success in it's actual purpose was by God and our prayers.

Something else I've also learned to appreciate more during this time is how serving God helps you see God. If you don't submit yourself and devote yourself in doing things of God, then you won't see God. These "things" aren't necessarily formal ministries but what is key is that bold commitments are made. Bold decisions. Acts of the will that consciously, consistently, and constantly align you with God's will. How do we see God's power in answering prayer if we aren't in a position of need. If we don't do bold things and ask for bold things, but instead ask for little things, selfish things, if we only pray briefly and without conviction. IMMERSE yourself in God's work and you will know God. Approach Him from the distance, and you will see Him at a distance.

Matthew 17:20
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Something to Ponder

2006-02-10T09:16:00.000-05:00

More in this life? or More than this life?

Brock

2006-02-07T20:57:00.000-05:00

Got me a job at Brock Solutions! Next term I'll be sticking around, working in Kitchener. I don't know whether I'll live near UW campus or in Kitchener though... bussing would probably take over an hour each trip...

Winter Retreat

2006-01-23T13:03:00.000-05:00

Praise God for a wonderful winter retreat. UW CCFers went to Circle Square Ranch in Brantford this past weekend. We learned by Bible study and by action to become a better community with visible unity. Coming out of a lonely term in Stratford it was very refreshing to be with brothers and sisters again. More than the insane fun, it was a very encouraging and inspiring time. Sharing time was great with many models of leadership challenging us. The worship team did a wonderful job leading us all into both quiet worship and loud praise to God. As Rebecca noted, it wasn't like a typical retreat/camp where people were unenthusiastic coming in, spiritually high going out and subsequently snuffed out. People were enthusiastic coming in with clear desires for God and community. It wasn't mere happiness, it was clear joy. I hope we will all carry the lessons we've learned and follow through with the challenges we've received this past weekend.

1 Peter

2006-01-14T11:05:00.000-05:00

Here are some highlights from my devo readings this morning from 1 Peter.

Desire
2:2
Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.

Identifying with Christ
2:19
For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it?

Beauty in Women
3:4
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

My Philosophy
3:13-14
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.

Readiness
3:15
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience [...]

Hospitality
4:9-10
Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms.

Loving and Disciplined Tongue
4:11
If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.

bilyxiao.com

2006-01-12T13:16:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't really been updating this blog lately, but I'll get back to more regular updates soon I hope...

fyi this blog of mine is now accessible from http://bilyxiao.com

Deceit

2005-12-19T18:04:00.000-05:00

Today I was entering my work overtime hours for approval and subsequent payment. I worked this past Saturday starting at a bright and early 7AM and ending a long day at 11PM. I put this start and end time into the system and clicked OK to send it off for approval. Shortly after this did I realize that I wasn't exactly at work for that entire time. Naturally, I had left for dinner during that time and I don't imagine it's time for which businesses want to be paying employees.

I had two choices: call my boss and notify him of the error so he could reject the timesheet and I could correct it, or let it go and maybe smuggle an extra $30 or so of pay.

Ultimately I chose to call my boss and notify him I had included dinner time as work time. To my surprise, he was quick to tell me that he was willing to pay for my dinner time as well!

Though in co-op student capacity, being now a member of the workforce I can see that it is quite easy to cheat the system with dishonest overtime hours. It is easy to do and easy to allow yourself to do it.

God promises to reward us. This time I was rewarded monetarily and it was a much needed encouragement for me. God's promise of rewards, however, is not to these sort of material rewards, but of qualities that are eternal.

CCF's theme this term is "Christ in me" - Holy Living. Honesty is part of leading a holy life. Sometimes it's easy, sometime's its tough, but to have integrity is to have consistency in commitment of the will according to beliefs. I'm glad I chose to maintain that integrity, take the path pleasing to God, and stay honest.

Proverbs 6

2005-12-18T23:09:00.000-05:00

10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-

11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

I sure do like sleep.... >_<

Bily Xiao - Passion and Purity

2005-12-18T23:07:00.000-05:00

Wow.... worked over 20hours overtime this weekend! Work is finished on Thursday. Tonight I pack and tomorrow after work I start to move things into my place in Waterloo next term. Thursday night I'll finish moving my last things, then head to Toronto late night for joint bday shindig.

Look Back

2005-12-10T20:47:00.000-05:00

As long-time readers of this here blog of mine may have noticed, I haven't posted much this term. What I have posted, is also rather uninteresting. To let new readers know, and as a reminder to old readers, if you have any interest in... more interesting... posts of mine, look back into my archives, accessible on the left nav bar.

byli out

Instructions for the Day

2005-11-24T00:27:00.000-05:00

If you please. I propound perambulation of preambulatory preparation.

speaking of ambulatory... http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/11/07

Helen Keller

2005-11-13T14:23:00.000-05:00

Amazing deafblind lady. You can read about her life here. I first learned about her while helping out in AWANA when they showed a cartoon movie of her =p

No more engineering?

2005-10-28T20:31:00.000-04:00

Philosophy, the humanities, socialwork, theology... giving more consideration lately to switching faculties. These address more what life is in general, and how to enrich it for us who have life.

Math is beautiful too. I'm a geek... well, maybe not. The elegance in math has such an enigmatic aura surrounding it. There's something about truth in mathematics. Nothingness. Infinity. Reality. Hyperdimensionality. Inherent inescapable truth.

2005-10-28T20:30:00.000-04:00

Check out the website for these mathematical patterns. Click here.

Proverbs 6:6-11

2005-10-22T17:20:00.000-04:00

6 Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise!

7 It has no commander,
no overseer or ruler,

8 yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.

9 How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?

10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-

11 and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

2005-10-22T14:59:00.000-04:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

Well wadya know

2005-10-21T23:27:00.001-04:00

Apparently there's an accessible second floor level to the Zehrs in Stratford. What's more, it's a veritable mini community centre with regularly programmed classes and events. For a start, there's a cooking class and martial arts class. When I went upstairs to take a peek tonight it was Ballroom Dancing class. I expressed my interest to the teacherguy. Unfortunately they started 2nd week of September. Bummer... I was thinking about taking Ballroom Dancing lessons this term but never got around to really looking out for it. Now I regret it. I thought I would just take it in future academic terms on campus so I wasn't diligent and make effective use of my time.

We have to be good stewards of our God-given time.

Closing the Gap

2005-09-16T09:56:00.000-04:00

Commit the will to God, and immediately you will find Him near. Not because He has moved any closer, for He has always been at hand, but because you have finally allowed yourself to be near.

Sometimes we feel that God is distant. I myself have felt this way for quite awhile now.

We may feel God has left us to fend for ourselves. In a way He has, but He has not forsaken us. God appears to leave us sometimes so we can grow. Parents cannot always be at their children's side if the children are to come into their own.

We may feel, furthermore, distant at some spiritual level. Not only does God seem to ignore our prayers but I no longer "feel His presence". However, God allows us to lose the sensations of spiritual high because He wants to give us a choice. We are not impelled to follow Christ by surging emotions, but in the quiet we must choose. "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were."

Sometimes we feel especially kindled with fervor. A Christian life is not led by such passionate impulses as that which constitutes emotions, but by love.

In seeking to be restored to the right place with God, do not try to climb back up to a spiritual high like you might have had when first you decided to commit yourself to Christ. Just commit yourself by your will. "Spiritual highs" come and go. They are not bad in themselves, but they are only a catalyst.

Feeling distant? Ceaselessly steel your very will to that of God's, realize that you are near, and you are near. The entire Christian life -- a life of Love -- is a constant affair of the will.

Butt Prints in the Sand

2005-09-15T11:55:00.000-04:00

Andrew had on his xanga this awesome alternative version of Footprints

BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
but mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord,
"What have we here?"
Those prints are large and round and neat,
but Lord, they are too big for yours or my feet.
My child, He said in somber tone,
For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.
You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know.
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you, on your butt.
Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight and one must climb.
When one must rise and one must stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.

~Author Unknown~

My Utmost for His Highest: Sept 9

2005-09-09T20:29:00.000-04:00

Not everything one does in thinking he does it with love for the Lord is good. Many of the crusaders in centuries past thought the same thing. Obey. Be certain what is done is considered with God's rule, not his rule subconsciously flexed to your whims. Love is first. But love is not mere emotion.

---------------------

September 9

Do It Yourself
. . . bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ . . .
—2 Corinthians 10:5

Determinedly Discipline Other Things. This is another difficult aspect of the strenuous nature of sainthood. Paul said, according to the Moffatt translation of this verse, ". . . I take every project prisoner to make it obey Christ . . . ." So much Christian work today has never been disciplined, but has simply come into being by impulse! In our Lord’s life every project was disciplined to the will of His Father. There was never the slightest tendency to follow the impulse of His own will as distinct from His Father’s will— "the Son can do nothing of Himself . . . " ( John 5:19 ). Then compare this with what we do— we take "every thought" or project that comes to us by impulse and jump into action immediately, instead of imprisoning and disciplining ourselves to obey Christ.

Practical work for Christians is greatly overemphasized today, and the saints who are "bringing every thought [and project] into captivity" are criticized and told that they are not determined, and that they lack zeal for God or zeal for the souls of others. But true determination and zeal are found in obeying God, not in the inclination to serve Him that arises from our own undisciplined human nature. It is inconceivable, but true nevertheless, that saints are not "bringing every thought [and project] into captivity," but are simply doing work for God that has been instigated by their own human nature, and has not been made spiritual through determined discipline.

We have a tendency to forget that a person is not only committed to Jesus Christ for salvation, but is also committed, responsible, and accountable to Jesus Christ’s view of God, the world, and of sin and the devil. This means that each person must recognize the responsibility to "be transformed by the renewing of [his] mind. . . ." ( Romans 12:2 ).

- by Oswald Chambers (emphasis mine)

Lost

2005-09-06T21:40:00.000-04:00

After the much-appreciated and short-lived break from studies, it is time to get on to co-op work. My landlord passes by my workplace every morning in his own commute so he kindly gave me a ride. We left at 7:15 since he needs to drive to London. My work starts at 8:00. I arrive nice and early and explain to the front desk people that I'm a new co-op student, ask what I should do, where I should go, and whether my supervisor Mike is in yet. They scratch their heads. Pause. And call me a cab.

Apparently I went to the wrong plant. The address on the sheet given to me by UW Co-op that finalized my work term with them was the address to the plant that was on the opposite end of town from where I live, arguably just past the outskirts of town where the factories are. The actual plant I am meant to work at is 1.3km walk from home, as opposed to 6.5km.

Coming out of work it was easy to find my way home, the plant was right behind the big Zehrs that I had gone to just this past weekend for groceries. Easy enough. Trouble, though, was getting out of the plant. I had been taken on like a 2hour tour and shown the three ways to get to the office room I work in and yet I couldn't manage to find my way out. After I stumble about a bit I go back and ask my supervisor for directions. I walk a bit and get lost again and got further directions from other workers there.

Oy vey... I hope I know how to get into the office tomorrow morning.

T minus 16 hours

2005-09-02T19:03:00.000-04:00

First stop Calgary. Connecting flight to Toronto. Airporter shuttle bus to Stratford at midnight.

It's gnna be a long trip.

Blessed are the poor in spirit

2005-08-25T03:29:00.000-04:00

Reflections upon my spiritual life reveal to me many disappointing things. The first term of university was a time of tremendous spiritual growth and wakening to new levels of leadership with much encouragement from Chinese Christian Fellowship. The second term I was impassioned by God through inspirational biographical readings of missionary Jim Elliot's life. While this last summer term has provided lessons and reinforced certain spiritual areas over the drudgery of school, I find that I have lacked a more basic spiritual dimension. I need to become more child-like in my reverence and love for God. Simple. Focused. Direct.

This past term was rather difficult academically, but I by no means did terrible. In fact, I am still quite blessed in academics. I find that in the joys of the past weeks at home that I am abundantly blessed. Though my life is far from perfect, God has enabled me to overcome the troubles and subsequently showered me with blessings. I am blessed with good parenting, many friends, high grades, and fancy new material possessions. I am rather pleased with my emotional, psychological, social, intellectual, and physical being. I would say I am rather pleased with my spiritual being as well, if it weren't for this critical insufficiency of a child-like love.

With all these blessings and past week of mad fun I'm having much difficulty focussing on God, even in devotional time. Thoughts constantly wander. Amidst all my spiritual maturity, spiritual leadership, and desire for further spiritual growth, where is God really? Where is Christ?

Says Oswald Chambers: "The great battle in private prayer is the overcoming of mental wool-gathering. We have to discipline our minds and concentrate on willful prayer."

I do not pray with many requests for myself. I do pray with many requests of blessings for others. Where, though, is the worship? Where is the quiet, core communion?

I think I have become too proud... too self-absorbed. By worldly standards I think I'd be considered rather modest (although by that very thought I may have proven myself otherwise...) By God's standards, though, I am hitting far... far from the mark. Pride is essentially the greatest sin; therein lies the root of arguably all other sins. A rejection of God with an apparent self-sufficiency in its stead. How does God appear when we have precluded Him entirely?

God blesses me in many ways. It is both His joy and mine that I am blessed. But I must not become rapt in it. I must not let divine blessings muddle a divine relationship.

Blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:3

The poor in spirit see, without their vision polluted by the innumerable circumstances of the bustling life of the rich.

How pathetic my attempts. How unworthy I am. Lord, make me perfect in Christ.

GYAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

2005-08-24T23:21:00.000-04:00

Plane tickets rose $130 !!! That's not even including surcharges, fees, tax...
*whimper*
*tear*
*cry*
*weep*
*sob*

Somebody feed me money...

Whose Fish?

2005-08-16T16:01:00.000-04:00

w00t!

from http://www.coudal.com/thefish.php

By Albert Einstein (maybe)

This brainteaser, reportedly written by Einstein is difficult and Einstein said that 98% of the people in the world could not figure it out. Which percentage are you in?

There are five houses in a row in different colors. In each house lives a person with a different nationality. The five owners drink a different drink, smoke a different brand of cigar and keep a different pet, one of which is a Walleye Pike.

The question is-- who owns the fish?

Hints:
1. The Brit lives in the red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The green house is on the left of the white house.
5. The green house owner drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Malls keeps birds.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhills.
8. The man living in the house right in the center drinks milk.
9. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
10. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the one who smokes Dunhills.
12. The owner who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Princes.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbor who drinks water.

There are no tricks, pure logic will get you the correct answer. And yes, there is enough information to arrive at the one and only correct answer.

I just got it.
Can you?
=D

What Just Happened?

2005-08-04T21:29:00.000-04:00

I walked into the Physics - Statics final exam today with a loose expectation of over 80%.
I walked out without finishing, anxious and worrying that I'm not going to pass.
...

Christian Life: Easy or Hard?

2005-08-02T09:53:00.000-04:00

Many new Christians have the misconception that a Christian life is supposed to be easy. After having come into the arms of God, afterall, shouldn't we have it easy? What with having the very Lord of the universe backing you...

The truth is that there is some sort of duality in this issue.

Isaiah 43:2 (KJV)
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee.

1 Corinthians 15:57 (NIV)
But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)
3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Psalm 23:4
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

God does not give us a bridge over troubled waters. He gives us strength to wade through it.
God does not remove the fiery flames in our lives. He protects us as we face it.
God does not calm the storms in our lives. He calms us through the storms of our lives.
In the end it will be victory in Christ, in whom we are made perfect.

I'm Still Alive

2005-08-01T14:40:00.000-04:00

I have neither posted, seen many people, nor talked to many people for quite awhile now. Previously it was the heat and work-load making me sloth-like. I would either curl up in a ball or work alone in an air-conditioned room at RCH.

(aside: crazy thing... I'm in the library right now in the silent area where there are the rows of carousels. I just noticed that atop the carousel beside me is a chunk of raw meat... @___@)

It's been quite the stressful this term. At least one stress is gone as I've finally made me selection for housing for coming the co-op term. It was so hard finding a ride to Stratford. It was also rather difificult finding the very options of housing given the small selection from the local newspaper's classifieds. Of course there are still finals in less than 2 days away. Academics aside, I still have to figure out how to move about and store all my possessions during the interim before co-op. Add to that the absence of secured housing for the winter study term. Also need to get my Drivers License (not even an "N" yet) ...

Rather scatterbrained.

Essentially finished studying for Calculus now. Four more subjects to go... including one for which I need to learn from scratch 1.5 months of material since I haven't gone to class.

So much to do. So much more ahead of us. There will always be difficulties. But those difficulties can always be used for the good in some way.

I'm thankful that the burden of school isn't now eliminating my devotional time.

Rurouni Kenshin: Tsuiokuhen

2005-07-17T14:51:00.000-04:00

*cry*
It's so beautiful...

Recap

2005-07-01T11:26:00.000-04:00

My Utmost for His Highest

July 1
There is no heaven with a little corner of hell in it.

The messages of Jesus Christ are for the will and the conscience, not for the head. If you dispute the Sermon on the Mount with your head, you will blunt the appeal to your heart.

Philippians 3:12
If that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended.

June 27
The Sermon on the Mount indicates that when we are on Jesus Christ's errands, there is no time to stand up for ourselves. Jesus says, in effect, Do not be bothered with whether you are being justly dealt with or not. To look for justice is a sign of deflection from devotion to Him. Never look for justice in this world, but never cease to give it. If we look for justice, we will begin to grouse and to indulge in the discontent of self-pity -- Why should I be treated like this? If we are devoted to Christ we have nothing to do with what we meet, whether it is just or unjust. Jesus says -- Go steadily on with what I have told you to do and I will guard your life. If you try to guard it yourself, you remove yourself from My deliverance.

June 26
"Having nothing..." Never reserve anything. Pour out the best you have, and always be poor. Never be diplomatic and careful about the treasure God gives. This is poverty triumphant.

June 21
Launch out in reckless belief that the Redemption is complete, and then bother no more about yourself, but begin to do as Jesus Christ said -- pray for the friend who comes to you at midnight, pray for the saints, pray for all men. Pray on the realization that you are only perfect in Christ Jesus, not on this plea -- "O Lord, I have done my best, please hear me."

June 19
Jesus did not say -- Make converts to your way of thinking, but look after My sheep, see that they get nourished in the knowledge of Me. We count as service what we do in the way of Christian works; Jesus Christ calls service what we are to Him, not what we do for Him.

June 15
We are not meant to be illuminated versions, but the common stuff of ordinary life exhibiting the marvel of the grace of God. Drudgery is the touchstone of character. The great hindrance in spiritual life is that we will look for big things to do. "Jesus took a towel... and began to wash the disciples' feet."

June 12
Pride is the deification of self, and this today in some of us is not of the order of the Pharisee, but of the publican. To say "Oh, I'm no saint," is acceptable to human pride, but it is unconscious blasphemy against God. It literally means that you defy God to make you a saint, "I am much too weak and hopeless." Why are you not a saint? It is either that you do not want to be a saint, or that you do not believe God can make you one.

Jobbage

2005-06-18T00:32:00.000-04:00

Gots me a job in Stratford with Cooper Standard Automotive, same company as Jon Lo last term, differen't position. Sounds like a good Mechatronics job. Didn't quite get a really sweet BC Hydro job. They said that the only reason I didn't though was because there was someone who had previous BC Hydro experience, and that my interview went really well and want me to apply for other BC Hydro jobs. I"m glad things went well and know I can perform. Being back home again with a good job would've been nice. I have no doubt that there are good reasons God has chosen to lead me the way He did though. Now to find housing... for co-op and academic...

2005-06-17T09:51:00.000-04:00

Stratford!

Batman Begins!

2005-06-16T01:30:00.000-04:00

Wow. What an awesome day. Mad cramming for midterms past while, today faced the much dreaded Materials midterm. I expected this to be the most difficult one, as I have not been attending most lectures and have not done much reading. What a delightful surprise. Most questions were on the practice midterm or from textbook examples. Seems like it may actually be my best midterm. What a relief to be done midterms. Must keep up with school from here on out. No more slacking for nearly a week at a time as before.

Just came home from watching Batman Begins. It is such a gooooood movie. Really shows a different side of Batman. His fears, his misdirection, his development as a real character; no longer the standard, ideal, near perfect hero. I don't watch movies in theater much, but this one was well worth it.

Now to wrap up a a good day with good devotional time =]

The goings on

2005-06-08T23:11:00.000-04:00

Calculus midterm went well.
Tonight's statics could've been better, though not with more studying... mistakes are made in life, oh well, no biggy.
Studying is arduous.
Three interviews thus far, tomorrow is phone interview with BC Hydro. I may be coming home again =]

Though life isn't easy, I"m happy with the way things are going. God grants me peace and strength. Blessings abound when you stop to ask and look for them.

Shiggity shiggity shwa

2005-06-03T15:30:00.000-04:00

mmmm haven't truly posted in awhile...
busyness

Virgin at 18? Here's a Big Payoff!

2005-05-23T09:21:00.000-04:00

Teens who remain virgins throughout high school may think they're missing out on some of the fun, but the reality is their sexually active peers are the ones missing out.

The study: A new study from the Christian group Focus on the Family analyzed data from the National Longitudinal Study of Youth that was conducted in waves from 1979 to 2000 with 3,750 men and 3,620 women. It controlled for ethnicity and previous educational or economic disadvantage. About half the students were virgins at 18 and half were not. Students were surveyed at age 18 and again at age 38.

The results: When the two groups were evaluated 20 years after their high school graduation, the data showed that both the male and female high school students who remained virgins at least until age 18 enjoyed huge advantages as adults, compared to those who had had sex in high school:

1. They completed an average of one year more of higher education.
2. Their incomes were 20 percent higher.
3. They had about half the risk of divorce.

"It is very much as we suspected--that adolescent virginity has a significant impact on well-being in middle adulthood," said lead study author Reginald Finger, M.D. "We found, as well, that these better outcomes were not merely the result of avoiding teenage pregnancy or fatherhood. The outcomes are inherent to remaining abstinent. In addition, we found that female virgins were more likely than their non-virgin counterparts to have a positive financial net worth and were almost half as likely as non-virgins to use welfare benefits."

The research findings were published in the journal Adolescent and Family Health.

http://channels.netscape.com/ns/love/package.jsp?name=fte/virginat18/virginat18

Quizzy

2005-05-16T10:37:00.000-04:00

Your #1 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

What's Your Personality Type?

Doneeeee

2005-05-09T09:02:00.000-04:00

Finally finished my work report...
It's 6AM right now. That's the latest/earliest I've ever stayed up. I guess this makes it my first all nighter, as the sun half-risen and is now casting beautifully warm colours across the skies.
I'm going to sleep for an hour or ... then I'll wake up to print out my report... there better not be any problems.

Surprise!

2005-04-28T04:21:00.000-04:00

I got kidnapped today! Though I was just going to hang out with a couple guys but unexpectedly got kidnapped, got driven blindfolded, carried out and dropped on the grass x__x. Pleasant surprise to see many friends today. I was afraid I would not have a chance to see some of them before leaving. Thanks to everyone who came and for making it happen. Best kidnapping ever!

I'm sleepy. Got new cell phone. Ask me for the number.
It is not fun copying out 150+ contact info from a cellphone. Where's the standardized integration and consolidation of products? Muh... eyes hurt.

One more day...... (well two technically)... but still... I have not packed yet. I have not done my work report. And there are many things left to do...

Ontario friends, see ya soon. Vancouver peeps, take care and thank you, I'll try to come back soon.

Bye

Stand in Awe of God

2005-04-22T01:19:00.000-04:00

Do not be quick with your mouth,
do not be hasty in your heart
to utter anything before God.
God is in heaven
and you are on earth,
so let your words be few

Eccl 5:2

Counting Down

2005-04-19T08:47:00.000-04:00

again

10 days before I leave...
10 days before I come...

Doh

2005-04-14T00:16:00.000-04:00

Haven't watched TV in awhile. Caught the last minute of Leave it to Beaver. Always miss it... but at least now I know when it is! It really is surprising how excited I was to see it on. I don't know why. It is such a pleasant, enjoyable, good-humoured show. Something more pure, innocent, untainted and proper about it that appeals to me, not the same ol' trash that's on nowadays.

Eh?

2005-04-12T20:57:00.001-04:00

New MSN display pic. Most umm... contentious... picture of me ever. Without asking for it, people are commenting. Such mixed comments =p
It's either a nice picture, a more-mature (for those who have known me more than just half a year) me, or a FREAKY scary retarded picture. I just thought it was a good picture that captured my smile. But that smile is both a nice one to some and a creepy one to others hehe. Yea the lighting is a little weird... So what do you think of it? Thus far with unsolicited comments it is something like 3nice, 3mature, 3scary, 3funny. Would you dare venture into the comments section below and let me know?

Maybe MSN picture compression and resizing makes for some pretty distorted affects for people. Here's a clearer version.

Freak Hailstorm!

2005-04-11T20:19:00.000-04:00

Got off work and finally got to my home bus stop when out of nowhere came a thick and heavy freak hailstorm. Now in Vancouver, hail hardly even occurs once a year. This is April. Hmmmm... Lasted like 5 minutes. A kilometer or two away were beautiful blue skies. In the hailstorm the clouds completed blocked the skies, but they were a very radiant glowing white/gray.

2005-04-05T00:18:00.000-04:00

Note that my post on March 28 is now "published".

2005-04-05T00:15:00.000-04:00

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

He is the Capstone

2005-03-30T10:42:00.000-05:00

For those of us who wish to be, we are rocks being carved after the image of Christ. Do not resist and harden yourself against the knocking of the tools, lest cracks form and propogate through your entire body. Chiselling is required, but it must be endured for progress to be made.

In Memory of...

2005-03-29T00:27:00.000-05:00

Joe Chan died today at 3PM after a car thief rammed into his car.
He interned as a pastor at my church. I had spoken with him only a couple of times. Though I did not know him well, it was easily seen in his attitude and sermons that he was a man charged with a passion for God. His life was not cut short. It ended at the proper time. Despite many struggles, he did not live a life that was lacking. His life was rich and abundant in the blessings that come of a personal relationship with God.
The car thief, on the other hand, lives. But how has he lived and how will he choose to live hereonafter? He has lived a life of thievery; seeking after worldly goods; trying to sustain himself with temporal possessions. He now faces jail-time.
Was it fair in this incident, like many others, that the criminal lives while the innocent die? What do you see of this? I see that Joe lived a full life and will inherit the eternal. The criminal is left with a further chance to decide which route he will take.

For me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. (Philippians 1:21)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, that the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me, but also to all those who have longed for his appearing. (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

May Joe's story be known to others to reflect upon what he lived for and what they live for, and may we ourselves not forget, that we might continually be reminded and encouraged.

But you, brothers, are not in darkness so that this day should surprise you like a thief. (1 Thessalonians 5:4)

Are you ready to die?

Good Friday

2005-03-25T18:16:00.000-05:00

Ascribe to the LORD the glory due his name;
worship the LORD in the splendor of his holiness (Psalm 29:2)
A sword is nothing without the Word.
What joy it is when the congregation gathers to worship! "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." (Matthew 18:19-20)
I am a friend of God. That's incredible, thinking about just Who He is, and then little me. And yet there it is.

Will to do it

2005-03-22T10:38:00.000-05:00

"The only test as to whether we ought to allow an emotion to have its way is to see what the outcome of the emotion will be." Do not constantly question your emotions, but neither let all your emotions take complete reign. "Going with the flow" of the world and doing whatever feels good is utter selfish non-sense. Think through consequences of your emotions and ensure it does not damage anything of the godly nature. If it does. Out with it. If it doesn't, then do as you will. If it specifically leads to something of the godly nature, will to do it. Decisions are made in an instant.

We cannot kindle when we will
    The fire which in the heart resides,
The spirit bloweth and is still,
In mystery our soul abides;
    But tasks in hours of insight will'd
    Can be through hours of gloom fulfill'd.

Not everything is done at once. But if at once you do not will to do it, nothing shall be done at all.

Found It

2005-03-21T10:49:00.000-05:00

Nearly a week ago I came across a daily devotional piece in My Utmost for His Highest that really rconnected with the direction I was trying to advance in people. About not stagnating and going. Stop self-evaluating and take actions in self-improvement for God. I couldn't find the page all week until just now. I mixed up March 16 with April 16... so here it is

April 16
Can You Come Down From the Mountain?

While you have the light, believe in the light . . .
—John 12:36

We all have moments when we feel better than ever before, and we say, "I feel fit for anything; if only I could always be like this!" We are not meant to be. Those moments are moments of insight which we have to live up to even when we do not feel like it. Many of us are no good for the everyday world when we are not on the mountaintop. Yet we must bring our everyday life up to the standard revealed to us on the mountaintop when we were there.

Never allow a feeling that was awakened in you on the mountaintop to evaporate. Don’t place yourself on the shelf by thinking, "How great to be in such a wonderful state of mind!" Act immediately—do something, even if your only reason to act is that you would rather not. If, during a prayer meeting, God shows you something to do, don’t say, "I’ll do it"—just do it! Pick yourself up by the back of the neck and shake off your fleshly laziness. Laziness can always be seen in our cravings for a mountaintop experience; all we talk about is our planning for our time on the mountain. We must learn to live in the ordinary "gray" day according to what we saw on the mountain.

Don’t give up because you have been blocked and confused once—go after it again. Burn your bridges behind you, and stand committed to God by an act of your own will. Never change your decisions, but be sure to make your decisions in the light of what you saw and learned on the mountain.

There Will Be Troubles

2005-03-11T02:19:00.000-05:00

In this world you will have trouble. (John 16:33)

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Tim 4:7)

That's life. That's living for Christ. It's a fight. It's a race. There will be struggles, blows that knock the air out of you, trips and falls, casting astray, hurdles... but that's natural, and what's more, that's required for growth. Let us not dwell in that which we lack, ourselves, for we lack nothing in Christ. Let us not dwell on past dissappointments and failures. There will be times when we stumble, but regain a foothold and immediately continue on your way.

Go

To Fill

2005-03-08T00:25:00.000-05:00

Watched some Leave it to Beaver again just now. So enjoyable. It's intriguing how this mild old black and white program is more amusing than most modern ones.

After work today I went for an hour-long stroll with my dog. Pleasant, to take in Creation.

----------

Last Saturday my fellowship went to hand out sandwiches we made and hot soup, various drinks and snacks to the homeless people in downtown Vancouver. This was done as a part of Mom's Agape Street Ministry. "Mom" is a lady who has been on welfare herself but with God-given direction and compassion for the homeless people around her she has devoted 10 years (thus far) to this ministry. Every night she hands out sandwiches to the homeless. Her love and dedication is why nearly all who receive her sandwiches call her "mom" and greet her with a hug, and why various churches and groups have volunteered to make and distribute.

This ministry is more than about filling the empty stomach. It is very much about filling the greater emptiness.

Matthew 4:4
4Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

John 4:13-14
13Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

A New Hobby

2005-03-05T18:20:00.000-05:00

Spent a fair amount of time ironing today. What can I say. It was enjoyable haha. Try making it a past-time? It's um... relaxing...

Worship

2005-03-04T21:19:00.000-05:00

Psalm 119

2005-03-03T02:40:00.000-05:00

Was at Seraphim today. Someone from the church of the guy who owns the place memorized Psalm 119, the longest chapter of any book of the Bible, as I understand it. A 70 year old lady. It took 8 years he says. Interesting.

Psalm 119:71
It was good for me to be afflicted
so that I might learn your decrees.

Not that I feel rather afflicted now. But I have this is the attitude I have. This is the attitude to have. The word attitude makes it seem sort of fake though. As if the making of the most of bad things is just some desperate cover-up to make yourself happy. No. Its the proper, right, good way to handle things. Not just a good way to think of things, but that way of thinking is good.

I confoose.

The Hare and Many Friends

2005-02-27T19:51:00.000-05:00

1 Friendship, like love, is but a name,
2 Unless to one you stint the flame.
3 The child, whom many fathers share,
4 Hath seldom known a father's care;
5 'Tis thus in friendships; who depend
6 On many, rarely find a friend.

7 A hare, who, in a civil way,
8 Complied with ev'ry thing, like Gay,
9 Was known by all the bestial train,
10 Who haunt the wood, or graze the plain:
11 Her care was, never to offend,
12 And ev'ry creature was her friend.

13 As forth she went at early dawn
14 To taste the dew-besprinkled lawn,
15 Behind she hears the hunter's cries,
16 And from the deep-mouth'd thunder flies;
17 She starts, she stops, she pants for breath,
18 She hears the near advance of death,
19 She doubles, to mis-lead the hound,
20 And measures back her mazy round;
21 'Till, fainting in the public way,
22 Half dead with fear she gasping lay.

23 What transport in her bosom grew,
24 When first the horse appear'd in view!

25 'Let me,' says she, 'your back ascend,
26 And owe my safety to a friend,
27 You know my feet betray my flight,
28 To friendship ev'ry burthen's light.'

29 The horse replied, 'Poor honest puss,
30 It grieves my heart to see thee thus;
31 Be comforted, relief is near;
32 For all your friends are in the rear.'

33 She next the stately bull implor'd;
34 And thus reply'd the mighty lord.
35 'Since ev'ry beast alive can tell
36 That I sincerely wish you well,
37 I may, without offence, pretend
38 To take the freedom of a friend;
39 Love calls me hence; a fav'rite cow
40 Expects me near yon barley mow:
41 And when a lady's in the case,
42 You know, all other things give place.
43 To leave you thus might seem unkind;
44 But see, the goat is just behind.'

45 The goat remark'd her pulse was high,
46 Her languid head, her heavy eye;
47 'My back,' says he, 'may do you harm;
48 The sheep's at hand, and wool is warm.'

49 The sheep was feeble, and complain'd,
50 His sides a load of wool sustain'd,
51 Said he was slow, confess'd his fears;
52 For hounds eat sheep as well as hares.

53 She now the trotting calf addrest,
54 To save from death a friend distrest.

55 'Shall I, says he, of tender age,
56 In this important care engage?
57 Older and abler pass'd you by;
58 How strong are those! how weak am I!
59 Should I presume to bear you hence,
60 Those friends of mine may take offence.
61 Excuse me then. You know my heart,
62 But dearest friends, alas, must part!
63 How shall we all lament! Adieu.
64 For see the hounds are just in view.'

How strange... that one with so many friends can yet feel so alone...

Proverbs 18:24
A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Expended.

Last Exile

2005-02-27T18:04:00.000-05:00

Beautiful Fields

Frost

2005-02-25T19:02:00.000-05:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Leave it to Beaver

2005-02-22T21:59:00.000-05:00

It would be cool to live in those days.

So Many...

2005-02-21T20:38:00.000-05:00

A theme, if you will, of my thoughts for the past while has been about abundance. The abundance of life, everything in it. All the friends, family and new people I'm meeting. The richness of that fellowship. The richness in the beauty of nature. How blessed we are. So many lessons, so many steps. As mentioned somewhere, strung throughout, my previous long post, there's so much room for growth. So many experiences through life, and so many more to come. There's so much I want to do. People to meet, youngin's to teach, peers to build up, things to do, books to read, knowledge to acquire, character to build, focus to discipline, God to worship. If we idle we strip ourselves of so much.

An old nursery rhyme that Jim noted, along the same lines of what I have just written:
The world is so full of a number of things,
I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings.

How Great

2005-02-20T18:00:00.000-05:00

Then sings my soul my savior God to Thee
How great Thou art
How great Thou art
Then sings my soul my savior God to Thee
How great Thou art how great Thou art.

How Do You Spend Your Time?

2005-02-18T21:49:00.000-05:00

*I'm sorry this will likely be confusing. It will be incoherent. A small sample of of thoughts I've had this past week. Issues that are not new, but are brought out in new light and to new realization. I should be more consistent in writing these thoughts, so that they do not come out as they do now - jumbled.

There are people that accomplish so much in their lifetime. We look and revere. Astounded. In admiration. What is the difference between them and us? Yes there are certain circumstantial things. But, truly, we do not spend our time productively. We do not determinedly run after things.

Hours of MSNing or something on the computer, surfing perhaps. Dreadful waste. Idling away. We aren't growing. Do not excuse yourself trying to rationalize that you'd be disconnected with friends. Spending less time online is not disconnecting yourself from the world. See them in person. For those who are away, use the phone. Send mail or e-mails. As with many cliches, this one is bound in truth - it's about quality time, not quantity.

I'm not only thinking about MSN, though. Perhaps it's TV, or just sitting about. I don't know what, but for so great a majority of us, young or old, life just passes by. We enjoy ourselves or just pass the time. Do we not see all the room there is for growth? All the opportunities to serve? Will we grow in age but not mature otherwise?

Do you make the best use of your time at all times? Idle on the bus? Or read an enriching book? Review bible memory verses? Have an encouraging conversation with the one sitting beside you?

Do you look to have a crowd out. Grab a bunch of your friends to hangout somewhere, catch a movie, etc. Yes that is certainl a part of our lives. But what an intriguing and real idea Jim Elliot has brought up. Has it ever occured to you to get together with your friends and have a night of studying God's Word? I'm not talking about cell groups or bible studies, per se. Those are great. But are you so Christ-centered and fuelled that if you're with a bunch of friends trying to decide what to do for the night, would be your first idea of something to do. Something so meaningful to you that it is "casually" brought up as real plan.

Do you smile when you walk about wherever, whenever? Beaming with God's radiance. Absolutely filled to the brim with joy. No, more than that. Overflowing with the living water. Are you a reservoir becoming like the dead sea? Receiving but not giving? Or will be a distributary. A node which channels outward in all directions. As happy-go-lucky as some would say I am, I have found that I can't be grinning from ear to ear all the time (i.e. on the bus). What shame it is that people of society now are so estranged even amidst the closeness of urbanization and expanse of telecommunications. Why don't we smile and greet strangers all the time? Or any of the time. I pray I could and would be thus filled. Don't force the smile. Simply be so captivated by the spirit of grace that you cannot help but glow.

Enough for now... I have to finish PDEng, eat dinner, and go to AWANA.

What shame, those who call themselves Christians. Will we only battle stagnation and constantly struggle to get to the place where the real service and war begins? Or will we go. Now.

Macross Zero

2005-02-15T21:57:00.000-05:00

For those of you that don't know, I love art. Among other career considerations I've had over my life, a serious one was being an artist / 3D animation artist. My appreciation for art isn't limited to just this, but Macross Zero is an anime with stunning visuals - both 2D and 3D animated.
Go look at the purdy pictures.

Songs of the Moment

2005-02-15T00:09:00.001-05:00

Day or two ago absolutely out of the blue, without having heard it somewhere earlier in recent memory, my started playing the song "Sugar Pie Honey Bunch" in my head (by the Four Tops, not Clay Aiken [ahemm Laura]...).

Another song that strikes a chord now is Gundam Seed - Find The Way, the third ending theme song. Gundam Seed... that was a moving series. So's Rurouni Kenshin, especially the movies. So much emotional nostalgia when rewatching Kenshin movies and Gundam Seed Destiny.

Poultry

2005-02-14T01:40:00.000-05:00

The clouds of life clear not
And grow not dimmer as we age
Yet in constancy of change
While obstructing the clarity
Of the azure vast
Through them only
Is the beauty and brilliance
The majesty of the heavens displayed

Baby Got Book!

2005-02-13T02:06:00.000-05:00

Not new, but if you haven't seen it already check out this hilarious vid.

Starting Off Fresh

2005-02-10T21:38:00.000-05:00

Had a good day at work today. Far better than past days of just reading through boring pdf manuals and a little bit of trying things out. As I hadn't much to do today (the manuals didn't help very much) I felt rather idle and unuseful, not worth my pay. I'm just starting off and my pace seems more than adequate from responses I get though. Still... I feel ashamed that I'm not doing more. Got to assist a couple of co-workers today with their tasks. Much much more interesting than reading, unpackaging, hooking up and revelling in the nice new IBM dual Xeon Blade Server. Looks like I'll be able to acquire some experience with Crystal Reports as well. Good for the future. What do I owe this good day to? Well as time progresses for a new employee things tend to get better, it's expected that there is inevitably a growing ingratiation into the workplace. What more there is, though, is the fact that I started my day off with a solid devotional time. I had planned before work I would continue to do devos in the morning, despite... well... having to go to work. I managed to do 25 min of devos on Monday morn before work but didn't quite wake up as scheduled past two days to have time for devos. Woke at 6:40 today (not so early compared to Herman and Victor) and got in a good 45min of devos. A fair chunk of that time went to verse memory today.

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to self-controlled, upright, and godly lives, in this present age, while we wait for the blessed up - the glorious appearing of our Great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.
Titus 2:11-14

Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good
Titus 3:1

He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.
Titus 3:5

Titus 2:11-14

It's been clear through my experience over the years that placing God first results in good things and a good day. Start off on the right foot. A particular expression of placing Him first is disciplined morning devos.

Bought a new Bible after work! I've wanted a compact one for awhile now. The one I've been using is the big hardcover NIV Study Bible that Siggy bought me. It's like a luxury Bible =p Good stuff, but too big and heavy to carry around conveniently or hold in the air as I read lying in bed. Anyway, this new Bible has niiice pure black genuine leather. Was going to buy one of those duo-tone ones I liked (like that one we got for Kat's baptism, remember?) for $40 but decided that this one was so purdy that I must get it though its $60. Listen to me... rambling on about pretty Bibles... but I'm happy! New stuff is always exciting eh. And its shiny! The leather in part and the gold lettering on the side eh =p

Can't quite tell the size of it because there's nothing to compare to... but...

I wish I had pro photography skillz like Scott... look at my failed attempt at one of those spiffy impressive close-up shots...

The Word is Not Bound

2005-02-10T02:07:00.000-05:00

Jim Elliot writes
"II Timothy 2:9 says, "The word of God is not bound.' Systematic theology -- be careful how you tie down the Word to fit your set and final creeds, systems, dogmas, and organized theistic philosophies. The Word of God is not bound! It's free to say what it will to the individual and no one can outline it into dispensations which cannot be broken. Don't get it down 'cold,' but let it live -- fresh, warm, and vibrant -- so that the world is not binding ponderous books about it, but rather is shackling you for having allowed it to have free course in your life. That's the apostolic pattern.... And those who are arguing about foreknowledge, election, and such: read thos everses 14-26, and then look how the apostle is willing to leave it a paradox. 'God gives repentance,' and 'they recover themselves.' Yes, yes, I'm naive, and glad to be so in such a case."

2005-02-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

Considering an MSN hiatus.

Eason

2005-02-08T01:52:00.000-05:00

This Day Next Year

Sleepytime

2005-02-07T02:20:00.000-05:00

Mmmmmmmm first day of work tomorrow. Primary reason for anxiousness - not knowing how to dress business casual and feel comfortable in it.

Monkey vs Tiger!

2005-02-06T17:53:00.000-05:00

Wow... this crazy kung-fu monkey is impressive =)
I like tigers though... poor guy =( just a growing cub

Shadow of the Almighty

2005-02-06T03:09:00.000-05:00

The Life and Testament of Jim Elliot
by Elisabeth Elliot

Recall that the previous book I read was Passion and Purity, also by Elisabeth Elliot. The book tells the story of Elisabeth and Jim and bespeaks passion and purity, both for God and for each other. They were in correspondence for around 5 years and Jim Elliot died less than a year after they married, as I remember. Jim died as a missionary to the Auca Indians tribe in Ecuador. In this book I have seen the strength of Elisabeth and Jim. I admired Jim greatly for his faith and as a model for a Christian leader, particularly in respect to the man-woman relationship. Occassionaly I have been asked who my hero is, my idol, role-model, etc. My answer was and is Christ, indeed. There has been no other. Through Passion and Purity and Shadow of the Almighty, now, as I peer deeper into his life, his character, I have found for myself another to be dubbed a role-model.

It's getting late and I will be sleeping soon (midnight... but I want to be well-rested for church), so I'll leave a few quotes for this entry.

"He is no fool who gives that which he cannot keep, to gain what he cannot lose." - Jim

"Sin will keep you from this Book [the Bible], or this Book will keep you from sin." - Bunyan (no idea who... Jim quoted him)

"God is still on His throne, we're still on His footstool, and there's only a knee's distance between!" - Jim on prayer

"Coming home we stopped for a bite to eat, and ran into a confused waitress. Had a heart-rending time trying to speak the Words of Life to her, and as I think of all this country now, many just as confused, and more so, I realized that the 39th Street bus is as much a mission field as Africa ever was." - Jim after presentation on foreign missions

Yup

2005-02-06T01:04:00.000-05:00

Mariah Carey - Greatest Hits.

2Pac. Smart man. Want more of his songs other than changes. Indeed it is a shame rap isn't like it used to be with him doing it. Not that I'm an expert on this... but yeh... he's got good stuff.

2 Timothy

2005-02-04T18:25:00.000-05:00

2 Timothy 1:7 - For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

Some by past experiences and the way they grew up are shy. It's not a matter of personality that cannot be overcome. Most clearly Christians are not to be shy and hesitant about proclaiming the Gospel. More than that though, as we are to be a light, we must really be glowing. Timothy was very very shy, and some of you are too. That shyness isn't easy to overcome but with the spirit of power we can be lead to do more. The shyness may still be there and possibly making you anxious and scared of things, but if the end result is that you still do by action what overcomes shyness, then it's good. For example, shy people in positions of leadership, going on missions, having to do public speaking, they could be shy but still by sheer will and enabling of the spirit overcome timidity.

Couple more memory verses I chose:

2 Timothy 2:16 - Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.

2 Timothy 2:24-26 - And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentence leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Consider the following passage from 2 Timothy 3, titled Godlessness in the Last Days. Do you see in the world today what is described in the passage? I do. How wretched the world is...

2 Timothy 3
Godlessness in the Last Days
1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without selfcontrol, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God– 5having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.
6They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weakwilled women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires, 7always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth. 8Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth–men of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. 9But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, their folly will be clear to everyone.

Do you learn at church and not acknowledge the truth?
Or have you had the thought that the universe is too beautiful and perfect for there not to be a greater power but being lazy shrug it off.

Matthew 13:14-15
In them is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah:
“ ‘You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving.
For this people's heart has become calloused;
they hardly hear with their ears,
and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes,
hear with their ears,
understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.’

Reminds me of something I thought about in elementary school. The specific wording.
Do you listen or hear?
Do you look or see?

Numanumaye!

2005-02-03T23:15:00.000-05:00

This guy is my new hero! Check it out here.

Jobness

2005-02-03T18:40:00.000-05:00

w00t! Matrikon offered me a job for co-op today. Thanks, everyone, for prayers and support. I start on Monday.

2005-02-03T02:36:00.000-05:00

Oh, sox, eh?

A Short Treatise on Law

2005-02-02T13:18:00.000-05:00

Well... okay not a treatise... but it is short:
*edit: okay I'm done writing now and it looks like it's not so short... and becoming more of a treatise, lol, however long those are I don't know...*

Been reading Comparative Concepts of Law and Order. A difficult read, can't just keep reading through it without stopping to think and process. Mmm... maybe it's just me, I'm no good at reading. The book pulls excerpts from other respected literature on law. I've noticed how it is all related to law as written of by Paul in the book of Romans. Here's one objection and counterargument written by Thomas Aquinas.

Article 1. Whether an Effect of Law is to Make Men Good?
It seems that it is not an effect of law to make men good.
Objection: For men are good through virtue, since virtue, as stated in the Ethics (Aristotle), is "that which makes its subject good." But virtue is in man from God alone, because He it is Who works virtue in us without us. Therefore does not make men good.
Reply: Virtue is twofold, namely, acquired and infused. Now the fact of being accustomed to an action contributes to both, but in different ways; for it causes the acquired virtue, while it disposes to infused virtue, and preserves and fosters it when it already exists. And since law is given for the purpose of directing human acts, in so far as human acts conduce to virtue, to that extent does law make men good. Hence the Philosopher says in the second book of the Politics that "law-givers make men good by habituating them to good works."

The reply by Aquinas does not preclude the truth of the objection, it adjusts and clarifies it. God made man good in the beginning. Man then sinned. God continues to work virtue in us though. As I understand the whole picture, we have within us initial virtue from God, works to lead us to obeying law, which in turn as we become accustomed to an action we then further acquire virtue. Aquinas says the fact of being accustomed "preserves and fosters [virtue] when it already exists" implying that in cases it does not. Where virtue does not exist, it can be acquired by accustomization to action as dictated by law. This may seem to suggest, but is not against the point that God works virtue in us, as the non-existent virtue is local to a certain point of law.

Law has as an effect to make men good, but it is an effect, not the primary effect, and the primary good in man is not from the law nor through law but from God. This is reflected in the following passage from Romans 2:12-16:

12All who sin apart from the law will also perish apart from the law, and all who sin under the law will be judged by the law. 13For it is not those who hear the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who obey the law who will be declared righteous. 14(Indeed, when Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, 15since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them.) 16This will take place on the day when God will judge men's secrets through Jesus Christ, as my gospel declares.

The previous chapter talked about Origins of Law. Law varies from country to country, society to society. Especially for those of you readers who have been through IB TOK, it should be evident that we can't (so immediately and so clearly) judge the law of other societies. The passage on how people will be judged in the end by God again reflects how law is not the be-all and end-all of goodness and righteousness. Romans 1:20, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."

Ach... much more on related topics on my mind, but it'll take time to articulate coherently. Many probably didn't bother to read this longer entry or got lost mid-way, anyway =p

-----------------------------------------------

Righteousness Through Faith
Romans 3:21
But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.

Romans 8:2
because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Le Petit Prince

2005-01-31T18:53:00.000-05:00

- Je cherche des amis, dit le petit prince. Qu'est-ce que signifie "apprivoiser"?

-C'est une chose trop oubliée, dit le renard. Ça signifie "créer des liens …"

-Créer des liens ?

-Bien sur, dit le renard. Tu n’es encore pour moi qu’un petit garçon tout semblable à cent mille petits garçons. Et je n’ai pas besoin de toi. Et tu n’as pas besoin de moi non plus. Je ne suis pour toi qu’un renard semblable à cinq mille renards. Mais, si tu m’apprivoises, nous aurons besoin de l’un de l’autre.

Ach!

2005-01-31T16:08:00.000-05:00

Lying in bed on your stomach after eating a big hamburger is NOT good for you...

MissionsFest!

2005-01-30T04:39:00.000-05:00

Went to MissionsFest tonight. Good seeing some old friends. Rita came along. Fun times. Very unexpectedly bumped into Carolyn, friend from all the way back in gr. 4 and classmate until gr. 10 before I moved and changed schools. She's going to Austria in september! To attend Capernwray Missionary Fellowship's Tauernhof Bible School. Prepares you for service! Encouraging to hear. Please join me in praying for her, even though she's not leaving for months more.

Although I did and do not feel called to missions, a very poignant and memorable principle was brought up by Dr. Martin Alphonse, the speaker for the youth rally: "A life not worth dying for is a life not worth living." Tsink about it.

Doesn't mean that if you feel like your life is crap you should... stop living. But you should stop living it the way you have been. Life IS worth living. One just has to see what it really is, and what it really is will never be seen without Christ Jesus our Saviour.

Happy Birthday Victor!

2005-01-29T18:29:00.000-05:00

We're olded.

BibleGateway

2005-01-28T13:40:00.000-05:00

Online Bible, dozens of translations, cross-references, commentaries etc.

I've only been asked 2 or 3 times to recite a verse. Comon. I challenge you to challenge me! Glove slap. Baby, glove slap. (8)

Here's the links to the entire list of verses:
for the book of Matthew
for the book of Romans

Give Us Clean Hands

2005-01-26T14:46:00.000-05:00

We bow our hearts, we bend our knees
O Spirit come make us humble
We turn our eyes from evil things
O Lord we cast down our idols

Give us clean hands give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another
Give us clean hands, give us pure hearts
Let us not lift our souls to another

O God let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face, O God of Jacob
O God let us be a generation that seeks
That seeks Your face, O God of Jacob

Something I Found

2005-01-26T04:08:00.000-05:00

I've never made a fortune,
And it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much,
I'm happy anyhow.

And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
Cause my cup has overflowed.

Haven't got a lot of riches,
And sometimes the going's tough.
But I've got loving ones all around me,
And that makes me rich enough.

I thank God for his blessings,
And the mercies He's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
Cause my cup has overflowed.

I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
And the sun peeped through again..

So Lord, help me not to gripe,
About the tough rows I have hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
Cause my cup has overflowed.

If God gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already blessed enough.

And may I never be too busy,
To help others bear their loads.
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
Cause my cup has overflowed.

Happy Birthday Viv!

2005-01-26T01:56:00.000-05:00

sweet sixteen for you. so young. so restless =p
go visit her here ^^

Test Me

2005-01-24T00:41:00.000-05:00

In a further attempt to spur myself on to greater dedication in memorizing bible verses. The problem I have is that I am a visual learner. What I've memorized is easier recalled when I go in order, thinking about the spot on the page each passage is and then continuing on to the next passage in order. I need to have each set of verses memorized as individual verses (for the sake of memory, knowing full well there is unity in God's word). I ask you readers to keep me accountable and remind me. Ask me in person or on msn to recite the verse, name the reference, or do both given a topic for the verse. DO mix it up a bit. And don't flood me with challenges to do all the verses... I want to do this, but not spend an hour with each person for it. The following is a list of those which I have memorized in the past... I don't know... months?... and are the focus of that which I currently wish to commit to memory.

I've only finished my first attempts to commit to memory the verses from Roman over the past week or two. So I admit that I am rusty with many of the verses and will be reviewing them. Don't expect me to have everything perfect x__x

Romans
3:23
5:3-5, 5:8
6:10, 6:23
8:18, 8:26, 8:31-32, 8:38-39
10:9
12:2

Matthew
4:17b
5:16, 5:19, 5:22, 5:23-24, 5:27, 5:37, 5:44, 5:46
6:14, 6:19-21, 6:24, 6:33-34
7:1-2, 7:3-5, 7:7-8, 7:21
9:37-38
10:8b, 10:32-33
11:28-30
12:30-31
25:40, 25:45
28:18-20

Online Bible: http://www.biblegateway.com/

My Lifeline

2005-01-22T20:03:00.000-05:00

My Jesus my lifeline
I need you more than I've ever known
There's no one quite like you
I'm crying out for your loving

Oh Jesus oh Jesus
I've never known a love like this before
Oh Jesus sweet Jesus
Accept this love I give to you

It's all I can do
Sing a song of love to you

I'm searching I'm longing
Please meet me just as you want to
Cause I'll stand here to offer
Offer up this song of love to you

Songness

2005-01-22T04:39:00.000-05:00

Eternity ~Memories of Light and Waves~ is now playing on this page. Thanks. Give yourself some time to listen carefully The song unfolds beautifully, telling an entire story. Its 6:21 in duration and gets better as it progresses.
It's a song described as "floaty" by some. Being a Final Fantasy song, indeed, there is a fantastical part to it. Now don't go and overanalyze the symbolism in all this, guys, but I find the song to be about love. A forlorn love, to begin with. There is some hesitation, lack of certainty. A love that tests itself and gathers a quiet inner strength and momentum. A determined love. It does not lose itself in movement though, but rather it retains the nuance of tenderness as it grows. Mmmm... I honestly can't tell how the song ends...

funny that

Co-op?

2005-01-21T17:44:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 6:00 today to check my final transcript and update my resume and webtranscript accordingly. Then I sent off my cover letter and such to a multitude of UBC professors. About eight responded promptly, informing me that they do not have an opening for a research assistant. A couple commended my resume and one offered me a position... with the condition that I get the Natural Science and Engineering Research Council Undergraduate Student Research Award (what a mouthful)... NSERC USRA. There are concerns regarding my eligibility, in that I am still first year and technically I must be completed first year it would appear, and many time-crucial factors regarding transcript, application, and co-op required work duration. It would be such a great opportunity though... Things could go either way at this point I don't know. We'll see...

Thems Funky Jap Commercials

2005-01-19T19:56:00.000-05:00

Everyone who's seen it thus far has said it's cute. Heck... even I say it's cute. There's something odd about it too that just makes you wanna watch over and over. x__x